Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

It was more about me being obsessed with the job.

I must be stopped

You want me to get the Chief Autistic to come all the way down here?

- What's the matter? You got brain-freeze? - No, I got brainwave.

I'm just calling with details of your accommodation.

Is there now? Twenty-nine.

Well then you're packed already

I have a forensic degree you know

No, listen. Wait, wait, wait, Michael, wait, listen to me. Listen, listen.

oh it smells like you just did a fartuction! yes and it smells like doves!

Joyce will discover the Sergeant lying on the wet floor of his bathroom,

Now, I know what you're going to say,

That is nothing, man.

Another cranberry juice?

but as far as I'm concerned, Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...

You do realize that window was broken from the inside?

What absolute Horse shit

That's a nice looking mac Check out it's ports

Hello Nicholas, how's the hand?

belonging to Leslie, that I intend to turn it into a memorial garden, in her honor.

What's it like getting paid?

Yes, but you were already married to the force, weren't you?

This notebook has saved my skin more times than I care to mention.

yes beryl bflankerette? what do you want? i want to do some shappiyapping in taishan.

Ten times what George Merchant and Martin Blower, God rest them, offered me.

I'll make sure everyone gets their just deserts.

Gun fights. Car chases. Proper action and shit.

He does for this one.

Happy birthday to you.

Officers, arrest that man.

A pleasure, my liege.

No luck catching them Labour voters yet? Just the one voter actually.

He's appointed himself judge, jury, and executioner

and of Eve Draper and Martin Blower on April 28th.

No luck catchin' them shooters then... It's just the one shooter actually.

We're actually supposed to call it "the service" now. 00:06:06 Official vocab guidelines state that "force" is too aggressive.

No luck sparking world war three then?

I’d say that’s lunch

They listed his age as 35. When I'm actually 33.

Oh, he'll be in bits tomorrow.

Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog.

Well, there's nothing going on, is there?

Maybe, it’s time to give it up sir

You want me to bother the Chief Inspector with this?

She tripped and fell on her own shears.

Seems like Mr. Merchant tried to have a little fry up and left the gas on.

What Absolute Horseshit

What’s your name? Arin A. Arinson.

I’ve had my top off in this layby tits!

and righteous and for the good of humankind.

Any Luck updating those reports then?

He'll Be Having Nightmares For A While

Seen any murderings, Nicholarse?

I know, I'm outside.

If we don't come down hard on these clowns...

Yeah, people do yoga all the time. What makes you think it was murder?

There hasn't been a recorded murder in Sandford for 20 years.

Pint of lager please, mary

We're actually meant to say 'deceased' now Official vocab guidelines state that 'dead' is too aggressive

Quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community.

unless you can back them up with hard evidence.

Well, I haven't held a razor for over two years, and I'd quite like to keep it that way

Quite appalling.

Want anything from the shop?

Nicholas, my son.

It's a well known fact that the church roof is in dire need of repair.

Good work, everyone.

Anything to energize my workforce.

Do you know this man?

- Excuse me? - Oh, I'm sorry.

When's your Birtday, Mark Cargill? Eighteenth of April, 1969.

Actually, I just wanted to ask, "What's your perfect Mass Effect?"

You ever fire your gun up in the air and gone "ahhhh?"

You think this is sufficient reason to travel at 48 in a 30 zone?

Couldn't see his face, could I? I'm not made of eyes.

Really? How so?

You are pulling my leg?

And yet we respond by not taking a single punitive measure?

From that moment on, I swore that I would do her proud.

he isn't even from round here

Leslie Tiller was fucking murdered

- We? - Come on, partner. Let's go to work.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE ON ABOUT

- And Martin Blower? - No, actually.

No luck catching them set times then?

It can get awfully hairy out there.

What's the situation One analyst and a fuck load of slides

No luck catching them pigs then?

If there's anything you need, just let us know.

Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations.

I say we go in through the front entrance, take the place aisle by aisle.

I haven't really got that much family round here, save for Cousin Sissy.

PACK IT IN TRUMP YOU SILLY BASTARD

Work events happen all the time what makes you think it’s a party Because I was there

Yeah, accidents happen all the time. What makes you think it was murder?

Take our minds off of it.

Go back to Lon-don

Not least those heathens at Buford Abbey.

Maybe they were all accidents. People have accidents every day.

and discovered that I should be in the pub.

What absolute horseshit.

- George Merchant. - Self-made millionaire.

Hey, that’s us!

Leslie Tiller Was Fucking Murdered!

Actually, I did notice some minor graffiti on the fountain.

I may not be a man of God, Reverend, but I know right, and I know wrong,

- You what? - No, apparently it's been deactivated. Over.

the truth is far less complex.

Why does she look like a vampire? Because she is one?

What are you up to tonight? I have to water my peace lily

Grindlewald’s inner circle revealed...

In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

Here to announce the winners is the newest addition to the Sandford Police Force.

Displayed great aptitude in field exercises.

No luck finding them RCGs then Its just the one RCG actually

d'ni real cases real people judge judy the letter t climb climb it till you reach the tower antwerp when 900 years old you reach if it's good or not huh those stories tonight on 60 minutes

Yeah he’s auntie Jackie’s sister’s brother’s boy

Have you ever fired your gun up in the air and gone "aahh!"?

No luck seeing them colours then its just the one colour actually

- What about Dad? - He'll come round again.

Traffic Collision

Spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm.

I am sure that all of you will have noticed the return of a blight to our streets.

Police work is not about proper action or shit.

It’s not your office anymore.

GET ON THE FLOOR NOW!! BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T I'LL SPANK YOU

- Are you saying that this is a crime scene? - Yes, sir, I am.

BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCK UGLY

Doesn't it seem a little strange that Martin Blower would lose control of his car

For the first time in my life, you know, I'm glad.

- Yours, isn't it? - I won it for you.

That is SLt Simon Cullen

Detective Sergeant Wainwright and Detective Constable Cartwright.

Somebody call the police!

What the fuck is he on about?

now unvanquish dantalien! mejw jdjvkej kdo oiru ooooeupu jekcskkcwkck ksos k

That Sargeant Angel's back. Check out his ports.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Because he’s fuck ugly.

I chased a suspect from the scene. Innocent people don't run!

They listed his age as 25 When he's actually 23

Crusty jugglers

- Right. Then where are you living? - He's staying at the Section House, sir.

I'm not jumping into anyone's grave.

Its needs are simple.

What do you mean by "this one"?

knew where the new bypass road is going

And anyway, what makes you think I could dislodge part of the church roof?

Because he's fuck ugly.

Oh, he's got shorts on.

He shot a crack head with a Kalashnikov.

Sandford's most wanted.

- I'll have a pint of lager, please. - Yeah, Roy.

Nice one Doris, nuttin’ like a bit of girl on girl

No luck catching them Jeks, then? It's just the one Jek, actually...

- Why have you got your stab vest on? - It's a requirement.

It was the single most painful experience of my life.

It's all right, it's all right. There's nothing to see.

You ain't seen Bad Boys II?