Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Otherwise, he'd be all alone with that adulteress and her delinquent son.

Thanks. I'm looking for a friend of mine.

like he's preparing for my parole hearing. I don't get to do anything by myself.

[Steve] No, I'm not buying wine for your brother.

Merry Christmas.

It's my mother-in-law's. Every time I pass it, I feel her eyes on me.

[Gulping Loudly]

I Fucking Hate Him Lloyd!

- It's nobody's fault. Feel better... - That's it!

People with guns can do whatever they want.

- Thank you. Merry Christmas. - Thank you very much.

Another thing. He said, uh, your men are to assist and report to me...

My God. Is this a Christmas story?

That's obvious.

Caroline, could I have the wine?

- But I'm not hungry now. - Eat! Don't annoy me. It's Christmas.

I heard something very similar on Oprah last week.

Gary, are you going to let him talk to you like that?!

that was really important to you, to us...

I have everything I need. I'm actually a very content person.

Audrey remember...

[Dr. Wong] Lloyd, have you forgiven Caroline for her affair?

One bad review in one lousy magazine.

I haven't finished a cigarette in three months. I take a few drags.

- What's the quickest way to the docks? - Bainbridge.

- How do you know he'll call? - He'll call. He better fuckin' call.

Oh, yes, your Christmas wish came true.

this is getting a little ugly here.

I spoke to Mr. Willard. It seems there might be a videotape of the robbery.

And when the Restaurant Guidebook recommends you...

You got everything, opportunities up the ass.

- Geez. - 419, we're over at Seabury Court. Over.

You know what, Mom? You know what I'm gonna get you next Christmas?

We're changing the rules a little bit, okay? We're gonna open up the presents now.

Just quit, huh?

- I want to change my shoes. - [Lloyd] Your shoes are lovely.

- [Sirens Blaring] - [Electronic Voice] Burglary.! Burglary.!

There is no Yugoslavia anymore. And who in their right mind would go there?

♪ I'll have a blue Christmas... ♪

I usually end up in Jamaica with this friend of mine, Jimmy Marlo.

- Well... - Well, he...

Merry Christmas.

Excuse my reach.

And I still say gettin' laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!

You forget I have your son upstairs.

Telling people she dreams of me being castrated Florentined is healthy?

- [Lloyd] Oh, my Lord. - [Groaning]

I'm gonna put two pounds of gunpowder in there, I'm gonna light it up...

- They all grew up together. - Great.

- I can't believe this. - Celebrate the birth of Christ!

I hate guys like you, you know?

Every time you guys yell and scream at each other, it is my problem, Mom.

I do not want you or your men going in there.! Do you hear me?

- He just wants me to wear a red A and sleep in the basement. - Is that so unreasonable?

because we weren't as rich as your college friends were to enjoy it.

You know, the big retirement score.

- I never said I quit. - You said you quit. You hadn't had a cigarette in three months.

- Oh, sounds too sweet. - Then don't eat it.

- And told me you want to stop arguing. - Stop sign! Whoa!

Um, there are Band-Aids in the bathroom...

I received a call from Will Warren, the county prosecutor.

♪ Don't got no spark ♪

♪ My baby's gone ♪

Medium! Favorite Christmas movie evah!

- Less than ten minutes ago, you sat in the car... - Hey, hey! Stop sign.

And if you would like, Lt. Huff, I will speak to the mayor... a golfing chum of mine...

- You phony bastard! - Caroline, shut up.!

The spirit of Christmas is either you're good, or you're punished and you burn in hell. would catch a criminal and then let him go free? - Republicans?

- [Murray Laughing] Kid, I got good news. - Yeah?

You can hot-wire station wagons, you can hot-wire a fucking boat.

- You wanna go for coffee? - Look, kid, I gotta get home to my family.

- They date back to the fourth century. - That's what it looks like.

but that I could say it just to get the divorce.

but it sucks just a little bit when you're 3 5...

That is not the spirit of Christmas.

Fuckin'Christmas.!

- [Security System Beeping] - [Jesse] Hi, guys. It's me.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas.

- ♪ This simple phrase ♪ - Why?

[Clerk] I have nothing I can do for you. I'm sorry.

But I'm right, aren't I? You would never have taken a couple, would you?

Up against the bed.

I hijacked my fuckin' parents.

Ah, the marriage doctor.

It's to put in the bank. It's another payment on the loan.

I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time...

Humans get frightened because they have feelings.

Uh, actually, that was, uh, my idea.

Hey, Lieutenant.

with his penis sticking out of his ear.

- [Boy] The cookies are good.! - All right, everybody, tuck in! Let's eat, huh?