Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- I only eat them on special occasions. - What's the special occasion?

There's been a black man inside of me for a long time.

They can do shapes now. One time I saw a cowboy hat.

Is that my sweatshirt?

If you'll excuse me, I'll go slip into something a little more comfortable.

I had to keep talking just to stop him from putting his fingers in my mouth.

Those jokes you wrote for my Mitt Romney fundraiser were top-notch.

This is how white people dial a phone.

a man-on-the-street commercial for "Tarzan On Ice."

So, you got options.

All right, Tracy, I have the DNA results right here.

I hate you, Thomas Jefferson!

Oh, by the way,

she never would have married me.

Only thing, we gonna do it like "Norbit," where I play all the parts.

This is a picture of him shaking hands with Ulysses S. Grant. This is a picture of him shaking hands with Ulysses S. Grant.

I feel more confused and betrayed

I'll let you know when I have the results.

Fm gay, and I want your job.

Sally Hemings just called you a dog, Thomas Jefferson.

I'll use my sexuality as a weapon.

On a day that's not the 4th of July.

Hi, my name is Floyd, and I'm an alcoholic.

What's left in April?

That's a negative portrayal of my people.

Excuse me a sec.

Look, I would really love to do this again some time,

- I know. - It is extremely not OK that you did that.

A couple months ago, I went on a date with my cousin.

This is how black people dial a phone.