Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

-Five bucks. -Told you: never bet me. I never lose.
-It's nice to see you. -Nice to see you, too.
Hey, drop me off at the Concord.
-(indistinct chatter) -(insects trilling)
That Kutsher's lead turned out to be a total bust.
All right, thank you for explaining that to me,
of Lizzie Borden if you want.
I kissed in the Catskills.
♪ You better tell that girl I'm gonna beat her up ♪
It's probably best we don't exchange names, Brenda.
♪ You better tell that girl to shut up ♪
"No, not Zoro.
Why?
-or a puppet show. -I'm a comedian.
-Who says? -The play police.
SHIRLEY: I'm gonna be carsick.
-Simon says bark like a dog. -(all bark)
jump up and down on one foot.
Ah. Great. Melvin, I'd like you to meet Midge Maisel.
You work at the fucking Morris agency.
I don't know.
-I do. -I would, but I didn't have to.
You stand at the urinals with those dicks and their dicks.
And then, as I was crouching in the bushes outside
-Anyone need to go potty? -MIDGE: I'm fine. Thanks.
(audience chuckling)
Because fathers never really know who their daughters are.
♪ But there's just one thing that I can't see ♪
Anybody who is secure, there's never any hostility
because he is intellectually superior.
Enough with the showing off already.
Oh. Joel, hello.
-Mel, you still there? -I'm still here.
There are renewed calls today for real estate developer
(indistinct chatter)
Secrets. Kids have secrets.
SOLLY: Midge. Mid-September, two spots.
You know the rules. I'm Simon, I says.
It would be terrifying to know who they are and what they do,
"Hey, you're a whore. Who knew?"
Your best friend Lenny Bruce
I'll buy you a drink back in the Catskills, a thank you drink.
You had them. You own them.
Fair enough. So, tomorrow, 7:00, Adelphi Theatre?
You remember the last piece of advice I gave you?
-Rose, I can't do it. -Every year, you say that.
Possibly. Jury's still out.
but, otherwise, secrets.
♪ Hurry, oh, oh, baby... ♪
Yes, I heard something about the Revlon counter.
-Did I leave the iron on? -You didn't leave the iron on.
It's still just a room. It's the same audience.
-Why? -Oh, is it because of me?
What's going on? Who died? Am I missing something?
Needed a break from my parents, huh?
I see two men standing around a toy.
They don't want to know, do they?
Now, give these free clothes to all the workers.
NEWS ANNOUNCER: Alaska became the 49th
But do I look rich?
All right, I'm sorry.
and that the phrase "dead duck"
-Okay? We're ready? -ALL: We're ready.
actually leads to anything, I will give you a taste.
The pool never gets wider. They're either bald
-I really like the theatre. -I do, too.
both possessed humility.
You know what, she's just gonna be funny
The Concord may have a midnight spot available.
I don't think-- they might have. They're Chinese.
SHIRLEY: Well, people wonder. An explanation never hurts.
-Well... -Hey,
MIDGE: It's very nice of you to do this, Noah.
(whoops) Made it. Here.
Wow, look at the size of that sandwich.
It's on the chair.
New play, a patient gave them to me.
If you go, can you possibly stay quiet that long?
A-Are you sure he's going back today, and soon?
Oh, hey, Noah, you can drop me off at the Concord.
wouldn't you, Jerome?
So you work on the barter system?
I'm not crabby.
What the fuck are you doing in New York
Thank God.
-Go away. -You're right.
I'm going to tell my family soon, after vacation.
You know what the common denominator is?
Who the hell is this?
-Her? -Just focus on your set, please.
trying to find you.
Oh. Me? Thank you.
♪ Five months, two weeks, two days ♪
That's how they caught him. His surcharges.
with a box of cereal.
There's not a lot of story there.