Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I was sitting in the restaurant, the two nutjobs were talking.
It's just that I'm here with my parents...
Bologna? Nobody eats bologna anymore.
...phobia.
...is a sign that your life is right on track.
Hey, my parents are as crazy as your parents.
Like the pirates used to wear.
Speaking of clothing, that is a very, very unusual shirt you have on.
Delicate yet masculine.
All those stores are stocking it...
But I don’t want to be a sheriff
...when we can't hear what someone's saying?
I won a contest
I mean, look at it. It looks ridiculous.
...and was dependent on Cub Scouts to feed him.
They're smooth.
- ...on national TV, and I said yes? - Yes, yes. You said it.
Can you spare a little change for an old buccaneer?
- Yeah, it's a puffy shirt. - You look kind of like a pirate.
Like a pirate.
She's a designer.
Thank you.
- Well, move in here. - What's that?
...except for this McKigney guy. This girl gave me her number. I got it all.
"Avast ye, matey"? What the hell does that mean?
You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt...
You're all kind of- Kind of puffed up.
Since you agreed to wear the puffy shirt on Today...
No, no. It's really funny.
Look at him.
Here's my card.
Puffy Shirt
- ...based on me wearing it on TV. - Yeah.
But I don’t want to be a sheriff!