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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
What am I? A burglar?
Is that weird?
Boot.
It's been moved to 1100 Peachtree Boulevard.
Sorry you got stood up.
They're not going to ask you a damn thing.
Let's do that again.
Wow.
Okay, when will it be in the computer?
Dave! Yes. Dave is here.
Don't answer that. You bet she did.
I had to sit through to get that lined up?
Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies.
Do you want to hotbox this nut sack? No, no.
- Okay. - Bathed, diapered, and in the PJs.
Okay, okay. Just friends. Just friends.
You can't look at other women.
Yeah, this is the place.
Have fun.
You deserve that.
that we will really, really regret in the morning?
Right? Yeah.
Why?
Whoo! Drink!
Num-nums!
Sure. You swear?
- Come on! - Okay, okay, okay.
I know. I heard her.
I forgot about raves!
I'm sorry.
I'm so glad you're here. It's been so crazy.
Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart.
It is my distinct honor
My betrothed, Pamela, would like you
Really, what is time?
Fuck!
Yes. I tend to agree.
Can you look a little bit harder? That's incredible!
What a bad, bad day.
It's your turn to feed the babies.
Mitch is gonna be great in our movie film.
You're welcome, Dad.
Shouldn't I be sitting in my car seat?
That place has got this non-resin tar
You know, Katie, this is exactly why people get divorced.
Now, you put your thumb up nice lady's butthole,
I love you.
Did you tell Daddy?
I haven't been on a date in 18 years.
Okay.
That is a very nice thing for a son to hear.
It's my turn. No, no, no.
Holy fuck-knuckles, I've got freckles on my taint.
What are you doing to me?
who sleeps with someone she just met?
How dare you tell him that?
He forgot me at the coffee shop
Hit the steering wheel. I'm going again!
Lorno, "Light porno." Tits and shadows.
Oh, I've got your thing.
This merger is over.
Look at your flow, it's so nice and thick.
You should let people into your sweet side.
Me asking Rojo if
Hey!
How long have you known Dave?
I mean, what's going on between us,
He's Mitch. I'm Mitch. Somehow we switched bodies.
Excellent, girls.
Red. Celadon.
Mitch.
Hello.
- Hello. - Mitch.
- Man, this is amazing. - I can't believe they're making me partner.
I'm going to work today, I'm going to quit my job.
Come on, buddy, open up the door immediately.
Our social studies teacher? Yeah.
I'm telling her the truth.
Everything's fine, dude. What's next?
that only I, Dave, would know.
I send you a card every year. Jamie, listen to me.
But I want him to be part of my life.
Stay here, talk to me. Sit on that chair.
Good to go? Oh, yeah.
if all you did all day was eat hummus and masturbate.
I don't know.
Go to the fridge. Okay.
Hey, guess what? It's breakfast time.
I wouldn't like to sleep with that in my pants, either.
We wished we had each other's lives.
No, we were not... Don't interrupt me, handsome.
Go and do that? No.
DAVE IS A LITTLE BIT OF A PUSSY
All right, let's do this.
No. It was not fucking cheating.
There, we have it.
She does it a lot, actually.
Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina?
Are you the one in charge here?
He excelled on all fronts,
It's like we're swapping rides.
Come on.
Objection!
It's only 2:00!
And you make a ton of money.
If we make too large a counter offer, we risk driving them away.
I know. All right.
I need to cool it on the Thai food.
And those things, they don't sleep,
Hold on. What's with all the heavy breathing?
Give it to me, Steve!
who is incapable of being happy?
Holy shit.
You would not believe the nasty shit
and maybe a little bit for me, you know?
Fuck!
Less stress for me, less stress for you...
Yeah.
Bathroom?
Not really. Uh-huh.
Honestly, I'd be happy with anything engraved.
Okay. Keep rolling, keep rolling.
How are you? Good.
Fine. What is my favorite color, Dave?
Can you put it down?
No, honey.
Oh, right. It's down there. Got it.
I what?
What's she saying? The dinner song.
Are you sure this is the address?
You focus, you find it.
Ooh! Num-nums!
We should wait to switch. We can do it...
Thank you.
and I'd like you to come to the wedding.
This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit
Dave. How are you?
You got any more questions?
This went so well. Yeah, it did.
Untitled Awesome Movie.
No.
was way, way better than the other girl's poem,
Because you are a brain-damaged mule
"he want me there? He thinks I'm an idiot."
He's good at it for five minutes, and it's gone.