Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit

I send you a card every year. Jamie, listen to me.

Go to the fridge. Okay.

I'm going to work today, I'm going to quit my job.

Go and do that? No.

My betrothed, Pamela, would like you

- Man, this is amazing. - I can't believe they're making me partner.

Okay, okay. Just friends. Just friends.

All right, let's do this.

He's good at it for five minutes, and it's gone.

How are you? Good.

- Okay. - Bathed, diapered, and in the PJs.

Oh, right. It's down there. Got it.

Me asking Rojo if

I know. All right.

Lorno, "Light porno." Tits and shadows.

Stay here, talk to me. Sit on that chair.

She does it a lot, actually.

How long have you known Dave?

Yes. I tend to agree.

I forgot about raves!

It is my distinct honor

It's your turn to feed the babies.

Really, what is time?

Everything's fine, dude. What's next?

You're welcome, Dad.

Good to go? Oh, yeah.

Hold on. What's with all the heavy breathing?

There, we have it.

He excelled on all fronts,

that only I, Dave, would know.

Okay. Keep rolling, keep rolling.

Mitch is gonna be great in our movie film.

This merger is over.

You focus, you find it.

You should let people into your sweet side.

I mean, what's going on between us,

Not really. Uh-huh.

Here you go. Back to bed, sweetheart.

Now, you put your thumb up nice lady's butthole,

Yeah, this is the place.

Excellent, girls.

Holy fuck-knuckles, I've got freckles on my taint.

Sure. You swear?

Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina?

I need to cool it on the Thai food.

I'm so glad you're here. It's been so crazy.

Let's do that again.

- Hello. - Mitch.

If we make too large a counter offer, we risk driving them away.

And you make a ton of money.

Can you put it down?

who is incapable of being happy?

It's my turn. No, no, no.

Don't answer that. You bet she did.

Shouldn't I be sitting in my car seat?

Our social studies teacher? Yeah.

And those things, they don't sleep,

Hit the steering wheel. I'm going again!

Look at your flow, it's so nice and thick.

Can you look a little bit harder? That's incredible!

Less stress for me, less stress for you...

It's only 2:00!

This went so well. Yeah, it did.

Honestly, I'd be happy with anything engraved.

Are you the one in charge here?

Dave! Yes. Dave is here.

We wished we had each other's lives.

Untitled Awesome Movie.

What are you doing to me?

No. It was not fucking cheating.

Come on, buddy, open up the door immediately.

- Come on! - Okay, okay, okay.

DAVE IS A LITTLE BIT OF A PUSSY

Dave. How are you?

I had to sit through to get that lined up?

I know. I heard her.

He forgot me at the coffee shop

Okay, when will it be in the computer?

"he want me there? He thinks I'm an idiot."

What a bad, bad day.

Sorry you got stood up.

and maybe a little bit for me, you know?

I wouldn't like to sleep with that in my pants, either.

You know, Katie, this is exactly why people get divorced.

and I'd like you to come to the wedding.

who sleeps with someone she just met?

It's like we're swapping rides.

What am I? A burglar?

You would not believe the nasty shit

We should wait to switch. We can do it...

No, we were not... Don't interrupt me, handsome.

You deserve that.

Because you are a brain-damaged mule

But I want him to be part of my life.

Oh, I've got your thing.

Do you want to hotbox this nut sack? No, no.

That is a very nice thing for a son to hear.

What's she saying? The dinner song.

Hey, guess what? It's breakfast time.

if all you did all day was eat hummus and masturbate.

Fine. What is my favorite color, Dave?

that we will really, really regret in the morning?

Give it to me, Steve!

He's Mitch. I'm Mitch. Somehow we switched bodies.

Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies.

was way, way better than the other girl's poem,

You can't look at other women.

They're not going to ask you a damn thing.

It's been moved to 1100 Peachtree Boulevard.

Did you tell Daddy?

Are you sure this is the address?

I'm telling her the truth.

That place has got this non-resin tar

How dare you tell him that?

I haven't been on a date in 18 years.

You got any more questions?