Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Uh, Patrick Lyons, this is Carrie. - Nice to see you again.
No, because I'm becoming someone that I hate.
Yeah.
That's an insult. Put it out.
If Lindsey ever breaks up with you, I'll kill her.
Ooh, too fast? Too serious?
- What? - Colonized. It's like- It's like in the old days.
- Ben, focus. - Sorry.
You said dance, I started dancing.
because if you didn't, I was gonna have to find three new friends.
All right, here we go.
Listen. You go to the games, and I'll stay at the office.
It was pretty limber.
A clean slate.
But then I thought of a reason why I should.
He left me his season tickets.
Sign by the red tab. Initial by the yellow tabs.
you'll be back at work on Monday morning.
No, no, it's not like that.
"You wanna play video games or something?" I'm like, "No, I'm going out with Pukey. "
Molly? Okay, there's another phone call coming in, okay?
Listen. I just need Chris's cell phone number.
Seven.
Come on, people. Talking isn't burning calories.
I know why you forgot. That's all right. I bet when you talk to your friends...
That's funny, 'cause every other guy she's gone out with...
You're like a Man-Boy. Half man, half boy.
So, is the conversation over?
Right now I think we're witnessing the largest conga line ever.
No, this is beyond that. This is like a punishment from God or something.
And that, milady, is the Curse of the Bambino.
Are you faking it? 'Cause we don't have to really do this if you don't-
Fine. Hey, hold out for the Royals, huh?
Oh. Isn't that Jason Varitek?
Shoot, I wish you would have told me. I just took a whiz in your bushes.
1916, 1918.
I mean- I mean, you were-
- Whew! - Um-
- Hey, what's that noise? - Ben, we won! We won!
She's concussed Sam's concussed
Uh, mostly animated pornography from Japan.
Careful kid They’ll break your heart
I know what I'm doing when I'm here.
Okay, I looked.
Yeah, the Yankees have won 26.
Eighty-six years of banging our heads against the big green wall...
- we're looking for good players. - Hi.
Well, it's very hot, you know. It's Florida.
- Can I talk to him for a second? - Oh, sure.
You'll go? You know what? I have a better idea. I think I'll take him.
Yeah. Why-Why didn't you say something?
The grounds crew had to carry him out in a wheelbarrow.
There is this European company that we're trying to make a deal with, okay?
Let's go, Red Sox!
- Come on! - Die, you Nazi spin-bitch.
You can see right into it at a certain point. It's pretty awesome.
All right, Lindsey, so what's the matter with this one?
You know the best part? I can get over her because I am a Red Sox fan.
- Where'd you get this? - I- I don't remember.
- Thank you. - Want me to take it up?
you call me Ben the schoolteacher, am I right?
Well, what if some sudden crisis occurs...
No, it's okay. The trip is already off to a weird start.
_
I didn't want to go alone, so, you know- Carrie and Ezra are here as well.
Pretty good-looking too.
Tony C., best young player in baseball, catches one in the eye at 22, he's finished at 26.
Definitely the best girl I've ever gone out with.
Uh, I mean, I'm not about to enter any pie-eating contests.
Hardly any chunkage.
This isn't the best weekend for me. I'm kind of swamped.
Dana Donato! You got the sweetest ass in Sunday league!
And this one is gone.
But don't worry. You're still going to opening day.
My company can run a credit check on him.
It's- It's not just for her, okay? It's also for me, okay?
- Don't do it. - This is crazy.
known as Red Sox Nation.
That's it! Come on! Whoo!
He's struggling with it. He thinks he looks good.
Two minutes ago you said this was the best night of your life.
Johnny Damon! You got the sweetest ass in the league!
How has he not been tranquilized and tagged?
Socially.
- There they are. - Ben Wrightman. We talked on the phone.
It's like Robin's birthday party.
and if I still wanted to marry Scott Baio, I would think that my life went terribly wrong.
Top drawer. Okay.
This young lady jumped out of centerfield.
Swung on. A drive hit high and deep.
Hey.
Because I am bulletproof.
- Well, what happened? - Oh, my God. She went to his apartment and-
I can take this.