Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

That's awesome.
Oh, shit.
[OVER SPEAKERS] Unh, reporting live from the kitchen
Harold?
No fucking way.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
Oh, yeah.
You said, Come with me if you want to live.
Hey! Neighbor.
- Hey. Hey. HAROLD: What are you doing?
Your dad is gonna be here any minute, though. Honestly, that's...
...why are we dropping off this package? You said this guy was a chode.
...but when it comes to cleaning one up...
A little more expensive.
Start talking.
The fuck?
[MR. PEREZ SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
- Think about me. - All right.
...loser! - Give me another chance!
Is there somewhere we can eat?
Mm.
So is he.
...in the early '90s.
Yeah. They're probably fine, right?
(A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid. (A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid.
Don't worry, Mr. Lee. I'll distract them.
But wasn't there a time you actually used to get along? You might be in...
So you guys need a ride or something?
like I imagined it
Ah!
Aah. Where's my baby?
Triple.
No, I shouldn't.
This is why I tell you not to have people over.
- Time. - What?
I like it.
It's pretty fucking sweet.
Pancakes are fucking gay.
- Was that directed to me? KUMAR: Yeah, douche.
My dick's stuck to a pole!
Let's get out of here.
TODD: Thank you, Adrian.
It's a faux tree Actually
He's young.
DIRECTOR: All right, that's a cut. Great job
Are you sure we have to...
[ADRIAN CHUCKLES]
Oh, my God, you guys aren't even dressed? Jesus fucking Christ!
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
Blend. Blend. Blend.
That was you at the tree farm? You took my tree?
You celebrating real Christmas...
I'm on cocaine.
No, dude, I don't understand.
- Hey. - I was...
Kumar?
You got my daughter drunk?
Excuse me?
Very intense wording.
Does everybody know about this party?
I think that'll do it.
[ADRIAN SPEAKS IN YIDDISH]
Listen to me. I need you to go into Santa's gift bag...
[GRUNTS]
I'm running out of time. I gotta be back with a tree by 2 a.m.
We need to 86 NPH ASAP.
Oh, God!
Ha, ha. I ruined your...?
...she promised me we would have...
Harry. Unh! No, no, no.
No, no! No more cocaine!
TODD: Wow, the Jewish neighbors must hate this.
Aah!
You're right, I don't have to.
KUMAR: Oh, no, no.
Maria!
Hey, Adrian. I can't wait to finally meet you.
Heh, heh. Word. Word. My boy here, same way.
I love you.
Do you have any bars?
You're here a little early. You didn't go to the bathroom?
A WaffleBot.
Four
Scared of... What are they scared of, though?
First of all, don't ever take the Lord's name in vain, not after...
We're just here to pick up a tree that we reserved.
Why not ask your roommate?
...dick!
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
[COUGHS]
He knows when you're awake
...is to prove them wrong. I went to that school and I got your homework.
God! I thought you were gay!
Kumar, you're acting ridiculous, okay? Goodbye.
I mean, I love kids.
Who is this? Who is Glasses?
Maria is my wife.
...and kid. I'm out of here.
- Put money in my account. - You got it. Done.
[IN RUSSIAN]
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!
You're a dream. I'm having...
[WHISTLES THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
...toy of the season while they're hot.
- What? - What?
[GRUNTS]
Doesn't mean the other should forget about the good times.
...I'd really like it if you came over tomorrow.
It's like a stained-glass window of paper.
When did you turn into Mr. Rap-Hop-Expert?
Relax. I can feel the road. It's not that bad.
Just give me a minute, all right, man? Probably less. Heh.
...doesn't bother me a bit.
BOTH: Oh, shit!
All right. Merry Christmas!
Because I think I was starting to trip out back there a little bit.
- Cool. - All right.
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
...fucking moron!
You think you can buy the black man's soul.