Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Just give me a minute, all right, man? Probably less. Heh.
like I imagined it
Harry. Unh! No, no, no.
Does everybody know about this party?
You're right, I don't have to.
You got my daughter drunk?
You're a dream. I'm having...
You said, Come with me if you want to live.
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
TODD: Thank you, Adrian.
Harold?
He knows when you're awake
Four
KUMAR: Oh, no, no.
- What? - What?
God! I thought you were gay!
Is there somewhere we can eat?
- Cool. - All right.
Are you sure we have to...
No, no! No more cocaine!
...dick!
Oh, my God, you guys aren't even dressed? Jesus fucking Christ!
You think you can buy the black man's soul.
So you guys need a ride or something?
(A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid. (A woman sneezing) Ah-choo! Gesundheit. Gezondheid.
All right. Merry Christmas!
...loser! - Give me another chance!
Scared of... What are they scared of, though?
We're just here to pick up a tree that we reserved.
You celebrating real Christmas...
[OVER SPEAKERS] Unh, reporting live from the kitchen
It's like a stained-glass window of paper.
...in the early '90s.
Yeah. They're probably fine, right?
He's young.
[ADRIAN CHUCKLES]
Heh, heh. Word. Word. My boy here, same way.
- Think about me. - All right.
...fucking moron!
[ADRIAN SPEAKS IN YIDDISH]
My dick's stuck to a pole!
...I'd really like it if you came over tomorrow.
DIRECTOR: All right, that's a cut. Great job
Doesn't mean the other should forget about the good times.
Start talking.
We need to 86 NPH ASAP.
This is why I tell you not to have people over.
I'm running out of time. I gotta be back with a tree by 2 a.m.
Kumar, you're acting ridiculous, okay? Goodbye.
[GRUNTS]
Ah!
It's a faux tree Actually
The fuck?
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
You're here a little early. You didn't go to the bathroom?
But wasn't there a time you actually used to get along? You might be in...
Kumar?
Oh, shit.
Mm.
I mean, I love kids.
A little more expensive.
Hey, Adrian. I can't wait to finally meet you.
Triple.
I'm on cocaine.
Relax. I can feel the road. It's not that bad.
Maria is my wife.
First of all, don't ever take the Lord's name in vain, not after...
- Was that directed to me? KUMAR: Yeah, douche.
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
Hey! Neighbor.
...and kid. I'm out of here.
[IN RUSSIAN]
- Time. - What?
...is to prove them wrong. I went to that school and I got your homework.
No, I shouldn't.
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!
Ha, ha. I ruined your...?
Excuse me?
...but when it comes to cleaning one up...
...why are we dropping off this package? You said this guy was a chode.
...she promised me we would have...
Why not ask your roommate?
TODD: Wow, the Jewish neighbors must hate this.
...doesn't bother me a bit.
Listen to me. I need you to go into Santa's gift bag...
Because I think I was starting to trip out back there a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
- Put money in my account. - You got it. Done.
Pancakes are fucking gay.
...toy of the season while they're hot.
So is he.
- Hey. - I was...
Oh, God!
[GRUNTS]
That's awesome.
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
Aah. Where's my baby?
No, dude, I don't understand.
Who is this? Who is Glasses?
[COUGHS]
BOTH: Oh, shit!
Aah!
A WaffleBot.
Don't worry, Mr. Lee. I'll distract them.
Very intense wording.
It's pretty fucking sweet.
Maria!
I love you.
Do you have any bars?
[MR. PEREZ SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
When did you turn into Mr. Rap-Hop-Expert?
Your dad is gonna be here any minute, though. Honestly, that's...
Blend. Blend. Blend.
I think that'll do it.
- Hey. Hey. HAROLD: What are you doing?
[WHISTLES THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
That was you at the tree farm? You took my tree?
No fucking way.
I like it.
Let's get out of here.