Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

No. No, no, no.

I'm just wondering...

[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]

This here's my partner in crime, Lamar.

Cool about the clothes.

I don't know. Hasn't the 3D thing jumped the shark by now?

You better watch out You better not cry

It's an investment, really.

But this may be the last chance we've got.

Stop for Daddy. Shh, shh! Please!

Tonight. Christmas Eve.

BOTH: Thanks, WaffleBot!

GOLDSTEIN: For us Christians...

TODD: Unh, ah! Ava!

WOMAN: Back of the line, tech support!

...out there. - No, thanks, Kenneth.

I'm so sorry. Wow.

Has she seen your dick? Is it bigger than mine?

I'll tell the elves.

[SINGING] Deck the halls with boughs of holly

- Baby. Then let's get to it. - Oh!

Start talking! Now!

Here's one we did for Ja Rule. Ha-ha-ha.

What...? What are you doing? You can't just...

Any luck with the tree?

No, don't say do svidaniya.

Okay, great. Now she's having a bad trip.

Maybe he fucks up all the time.

- Thank you. - Don't respond to him.

I can read your mind.

Doesn't explain the gay thing.

...but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about...

I'll be right back. I'm just gonna drop this off.

Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks!

What do you say, GUYS?

[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]

...be able to make your party.

Am I missing something?

NEIL: It'll be tough between...

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

It's not humanely male?

So, what's up with this package?

HAROLD: I didn't know the nuns all showered in the same room.

Nothing about lighter.

GRACIE: Excuse me, Neil?

...by a gang of Korean punks.

What? No! Of course not. You could do both.

You are here a little early, right. You didn't go to that bathroom, did you?

You look better. Hi.

...to come to the party.

Hold on. We'll drop the tree off and then we'll go get you your virgin.

- Did you Pledge the banister? - Check.

One more thing! Merry Christmas to you...

HAROLD: I can't get her...

https://x.com/pettuswx/status/2000993341521932787?s=46&t=L99Z0LujD4Qah6g4texq8Q

For a massage. Heh.

Karate Kid style.

Oh. That reminds me. Remember that chick I met on the Internet?

Probably because they're scared.

How do I even know...

MR. PEREZ: It's a miracle!

...and then stripping and meth and biker boyfriend.

...How I Met Your Mother and charity work, but we'll see.

I can't... I can't...

She bled to death.

I don't understand what it is with you people and your trees.

Ha-ha-ha. So are you!

- Aah! - Oh, my God.

...the best way to communicate with a child.

...some sort of a warm liquid. I'll spit on it.

Oh. I guess Timo...

LAMAR: Oh, I got you now.

I'll take care of the tree. You have a family night in Manhattan.

Stop watching me in the bathroom!

I can run it again.

KUMAR: If I was a tree farmer...

You've all been waiting for:

I don't smoke any more.

Die, motherfucker!

Oh, wow. And you stunned fans when you said you were gay.

Kumar, I really need to talk to you.

It was like being famous...

Oh, this is not good.

[HAROLD GRUNTS]

This is like Duvalier Dank from October.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it looks like you guys got some awesome sconces.

- Hello? VANESSA: Kumar?

Just walk it off.

I love you too.

...my daughter...

I won't fuck her!

Gat's coming out

- Start talking. - Okay.

I already asked him. He said no. He's spending Christmas...

MADEA: Who told you that?

Really? A tree farm'?

Oh, it's okay. It's just a couple girlfriends.

Relax. It's not what it looks like.

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

Dude, you are not depriving me of this:

Tell me what is it about.

- I wouldn't say best... Yes. - Yeah. Yep. Besties.

...I have an appointment to get uncircumcised.

When I saw what Harold did for his family tonight...

Are you celebrating a real Christmas or a faux one?!

Yeah, realistic, not fucking gay as shit.

No. When Maria's dad...