Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...all my Jewish neurosis and self-hatred just washed right off.
This is my house.
That's a little something we magicians call misdirection.
Uh, I inadvertently introduced a baby to cocaine.
KUMAR [IN HINDI]:
That's why you gotta buy those faux trees. They last forever.
...all right? Heh. And just remember...
You're hot, girl.
Now!
Gay for that pussy
- Yeah, hug it out. - All right.
- [WHISPERS] Why didn't you tell me? - [MOUTHS] I'm sorry.
This coming Easter...
Dude, do you feel kind of weird?
...since I'm Claymated. HAROLD: You're such a fucking asshole.
Yeah, and maybe just because the other one.
KUMAR: Please don't do that.
Dude, I need this tree.
Hey, merry Christmas, guys. We'll see you in the fourth one.
...I promise you I will go back to the medical board, I'll get my job back.
Little trick I learned...
If you're looking for trees, you should know we do custom work.
...about Harry, huh?
- You lost your gangsta grill. - I know.
On, Prancer! On, Comet! On, Blitzen! Hyah!
Okay. On the menu today, we have:
You really think Neil can get us one of those trees?
...to deflower her.
But hopefully more. Heh.
I didn't want her to be...
[CHATTERING]
- I don't mind helping out... - I got it.
...but that was impressive.
- This is my friend, Adrian. HAROLD: Oh.
Dragons
...the life out of you...
What? What douche came up with that rule?
I know, so do I.
Because it is a big deal.
Hey, this place is, like, not shitty.
You got it. Merry Christmas, Santa.
KUMAR: I am doing it!
...but your daughter, sir, was the one who was trying to rape us.
Hey, Gracie, chin up.
LOOK AT ALL MYSE PENSIES NOW WE CANT SHOW THIS A CHURCH AAAAAAAAAAA
Black ice! It's real!
pancakes.
You know I got Fred Savage on speed dial.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
MR. PEREZ: Where's the tree?
Hey.
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
WAFFLEBOTS [SINGING]: I played my drum for him
...more protesters?
I am gay. Gay for that pussy.
Aah, aah. Hey! Whoa.
GUSTAV: You stupid...
Oh, wow, look at that.
- Quadruple. - Stop.
...you get the tree.
I remember the day they announced the rule. Same day I kicked a little bitch's ass at it.
We were doing last-minute shopping with my boy here when we saw you...
Oh, what the fuck?
...so you can suck my rich, yellow...
BOTH: Holy shit!
What do you think?
Wouldn't you?
Want me to call you a cab...
Don't you get it?
...unsafe, but it did save our lives.
So me and him, we're not gonna...
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
HAROLD: Dude!
Shit.
- Ha, ha. - Oh, man. Thanks, WaffleBot.
- We're gonna die. We're gonna die. - What?
I'm sorry, we don't have tickets.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[GARGLES]
Fuck!
oh my god, what happened you penis Why is this a giant penis?
Get the fuck off of me!
Forget it. Just...
Nothing. Let's just go.
Okay, listen up!
It never works.
God, does everything have to be about Christmas?
Don't just scream!
Thank you so much for this...
Carlos, Merry Christmas.
Yeah, we are, but your dad is Sergei Katsov? Heh.
Thank you. That's very sweet of you.
- Toss it back. KUMAR: Who you calling...
- Oh, you brought Ava. - Uh, yeah, sorry. I have Ava.
- You did? SANTA: Yes.
[LAUGHING]
Are you going soft on me?
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[GRUNTS]
Oh, my clay back!
Everybody's got a potty mouth these days.
TODD: I do not care for the language...
Hey, man, I can take the blame for that, all right?
Why?
...a different time and place, but that doesn't change the fact that you...
[BOTH YELL]
We wish you a merry Christmas
I love those sconces.
Crawled up the water spout
getting read)'