Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

You really think Neil can get us one of those trees?
It never works.
...since I'm Claymated. HAROLD: You're such a fucking asshole.
On, Prancer! On, Comet! On, Blitzen! Hyah!
Get the fuck off of me!
[GARGLES]
...you get the tree.
Dragons
Hey, man, I can take the blame for that, all right?
...unsafe, but it did save our lives.
Wouldn't you?
This is my house.
We were doing last-minute shopping with my boy here when we saw you...
[CHATTERING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I know, so do I.
Dude, do you feel kind of weird?
Okay, listen up!
You got it. Merry Christmas, Santa.
TODD: I do not care for the language...
getting read)'
- Ha, ha. - Oh, man. Thanks, WaffleBot.
[GRUNTS]
...the life out of you...
[LAUGHING]
Why?
WAFFLEBOTS [SINGING]: I played my drum for him
I'm sorry, we don't have tickets.
We wish you a merry Christmas
If you're looking for trees, you should know we do custom work.
MR. PEREZ: Where's the tree?
Okay. On the menu today, we have:
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Don't just scream!
BOTH: Holy shit!
Fuck!
...so you can suck my rich, yellow...
Everybody's got a potty mouth these days.
Forget it. Just...
You're hot, girl.
- You did? SANTA: Yes.
oh my god, what happened you penis Why is this a giant penis?
Crawled up the water spout
KUMAR: I am doing it!
Thank you. That's very sweet of you.
...more protesters?
Black ice! It's real!
Now!
Oh, wow, look at that.
...to deflower her.
I didn't want her to be...
Little trick I learned...
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Want me to call you a cab...
...all my Jewish neurosis and self-hatred just washed right off.
Aah, aah. Hey! Whoa.
Nothing. Let's just go.
- I don't mind helping out... - I got it.
- You lost your gangsta grill. - I know.
So me and him, we're not gonna...
Uh, I inadvertently introduced a baby to cocaine.
- Toss it back. KUMAR: Who you calling...
God, does everything have to be about Christmas?
Oh, my clay back!
- Quadruple. - Stop.
[SANTA CHUCKLES]
...I promise you I will go back to the medical board, I'll get my job back.
Because it is a big deal.
Hey.
What do you think?
You know I got Fred Savage on speed dial.
Shit.
Carlos, Merry Christmas.
I am gay. Gay for that pussy.
I remember the day they announced the rule. Same day I kicked a little bitch's ass at it.
Hey, this place is, like, not shitty.
...a different time and place, but that doesn't change the fact that you...
Dude, I need this tree.
Don't you get it?
Hey, Gracie, chin up.
...but that was impressive.
pancakes.
- Oh, you brought Ava. - Uh, yeah, sorry. I have Ava.
- [WHISPERS] Why didn't you tell me? - [MOUTHS] I'm sorry.
That's why you gotta buy those faux trees. They last forever.
Yeah, and maybe just because the other one.
GUSTAV: You stupid...
- We're gonna die. We're gonna die. - What?
Yeah, we are, but your dad is Sergei Katsov? Heh.
...about Harry, huh?
...all right? Heh. And just remember...
Thank you so much for this...
KUMAR: Please don't do that.
KUMAR [IN HINDI]:
This coming Easter...
I love those sconces.
Are you going soft on me?
[BOTH YELL]
Hey, merry Christmas, guys. We'll see you in the fourth one.
LOOK AT ALL MYSE PENSIES NOW WE CANT SHOW THIS A CHURCH AAAAAAAAAAA
- This is my friend, Adrian. HAROLD: Oh.
What? What douche came up with that rule?
HAROLD: Dude!
Gay for that pussy
That's a little something we magicians call misdirection.
[HAROLD & KUMAR YELLING]
Oh, what the fuck?
...but your daughter, sir, was the one who was trying to rape us.
But hopefully more. Heh.
- Yeah, hug it out. - All right.