Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...I have an idea on how we might get that tree out.
...three felonies that I can see in this room right now.
I don't know.
[GUN CLICKING]
No! No, no, no! That is not true, Daddy.
Hi. You guys in charge?
- What? - It's not gonna be easy.
Now I feel even worse about your dick.
You still owe me 87 cents for that jalapeño cheeseburger!
er ee
- S you? - Screw you.
You branded a prostitute.
Open the door!
- Where the hell am I? - More like where the heaven are you?
That was good shit.
But why are you making such a big deal about this?
What would you like to rehearse?
HAROLD: God, this is amazing. We're actually gonna make it home before they do.
Your son can rub his ass on Santa's cock in a minute.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
INEZ: Uncle Harold.
KUMAR: Fuck!
- I'm out. - Fine with me.
...we are going to have no private time.
...you guys are pretty cool. So cheers.
Oh, by the way, you got shit all over your car.
HAROLD: It's just the weekend.
...that he's being a fucking chode.
Smoke break ended 10 minutes ago! We need all bodies on-stage!
- Really? - Look.
- All right, put down the tree. Put it down. - Unh!
[ R ]
I know, right?
Mariana?
Seriously?
HAROLD: What back room?
[SQUIRREL YELLS]
I got an idea.
...from Clay Aiken. HAROLD: What?
Well, it doesn't have to any more.
Oh, I see.
Who are you looking at?
I know. Force of habit. Just...
Um...
DAVID: Fuck this! I got a wife...
Unh. Thank God you're here.
- What? - I knew it.
What do you mean, you see Uncle Harold?
Yes. I Will. Hit it.
...you'd make a great dad.
...take care of it. Now where's the tree?
[WHISPERS] Every single other person got out of here except for us.
Ryan was the biggest coozehound I know. Guy got mad gash.
No, Why?
...any of this?
...but I'm running a little late and I have all these...
But yogurt is sour, so how was I to know?
Now what?
...are ruining everything! You!
GUSTAV: Wake up!
...this afternoon?
No way, dude. Nobody dies while Claymated. It's a fact.
You don't have to do this.
- I got no bars. - Shit. Nothing here.
Every Christmas we use a tree that Dad grew.
...things would go really wrong. 80...
[HAROLD GRUNTING]
[CRUNCHING]
- I've got to find a place to change a diaper. - Oh, God.
Besides...
...heaven. Good to have you on board, NPH. - Hi.
- Are we having lovers' quarrel? - Oh, shit.
Which Karate Kid are you referring to?
You'd quit weed?
Dude, look out!
Yeah?
...and here she was.
- Thanks. - No, no. Come on. Don't.
Mr. Perez.
Every year I would pray to God:
She told me that the only thing I'm gonna be smart enough to do is lay on my back.
...like you pussies have today.
Aah. It's not a disease, is it? Heh, heh.
...fucking PancakeBot thing.
I will punch you in your face!
...you don't have a 12-foot Fraser fir?
Hey, hey. What about the tree'?
- Shut up. - What the fuck?
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
This is our Christmas tree.
It's powerful, man.
...classic.
- We called. LATRELL: Oh, yeah?
What singing group...
Russia Russia
Heh, heh. Do you know what happened?
HAROLD: Where the fuck are we?
No smoking in this house.
...all this just to make him happy.
- I practically run this place. - Oh. For reals?
Holy shit. That is the best Christmas toy ever.
TODD [SINGING]: Three French hens
Mm. It's good.
You know, I was really happy till you showed up today.
Kumar, no! Merry...
I got this.
HAROLD: Were you starting to trip out a little bit?
No shit.
I wanna be doing this.
A couple of brothers can't sell trees? Only swing from them like monkeys?
Take fucking five!
[CHUCKLING]
- What the hell's the matter? ROSENBERG: What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure she's completely shaved.
Get it?
You wanna do some mythic dungeons?
I did it anyway!
...then they get married...
- The tree, though. - Yes, so I called...
TODD [WHISPERS]: Until that fucking Russian sociopathic...
TODD: Ava, no! No, please!
Saint Peter was there...
TODD: Black ice!
Now, here's a newsflash:
Go! Come on, come on, come on! Shut up!
Merry Christmas, Roldy!
Homey.
...in Starship Troopers.
[PANTING]