Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

...these talentless fuck butt-crackers...
Okay.
- It's okay. Girlfriends. - Ha-ha-ha.
[LATRELL CHUCKLES]
Hey, hey!
- Thank you. - Thanks, man.
Thanks for the ride.
- Is that you? - Yeah.
That is a perfectly salvageable tree.
KUMAR: Sure this is the right address?
How did that happen already?
So be good for goodness' sake
Is it fake?
Harold.
[GUNSHOTS]
What's the matter? Afraid you'll catch a cold?
...the tree is a very important part of our holiday.
After you made Eiffel Tower on Mary?
Let's go.
Thanks.
Less romantic?
Hey, over there.
- Man, I don't think that's okay. - It's fine.
I don't wanna come to your shitty-ass party, dude.
Tickets, please.
Thanks, kid.
Well, thanks. Listen, um...
You know my name?
TODD: I wish I could stop
- What? Whoa! MARY: Unh!
Merry Christmas Pancakes are fucking gay
I don't know.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, no, no.
Wu-Tang, dude.
...except you're shorter.
Scr...
This is a really... This is a really beautiful tree.
Does it? Damn it. Okay. That explains a lot.
...but touch me again, I'll rip your dick off!
Also, I told her you work for the White House.
I almost had my dick ripped off.
...you guys come to my house.
Look...
Prepare for the winter of your discontent!
Fuck Savage! That rock is mine!
Eggnog? Empanadas?
You wanted it to look realistic.
...or a faux Christmas?
Just drive. Todd, drive.
Sir. Hi. My name is Kumar, this is Harold. It's very nice to meet you.
Okay, next, please. Move.
Fucking tight jeans.
...did you F-wads...
Maria's dad grew that tree...
...I need to say to you, okay?
You're Jewish.
ADRIAN: You know, I like the beard, but I love clean-shaven you.
Stop! Guys, guys, stop it, stop it
We just sold your little punk-ass tree, bitch!
Eight years, wow. I never knew Christmas trees were such a big deal.
You guys all right? How are you alive?
Appreciate it.
We have nothing to do with all the drugs and all the alcohol.
- That was close. - I know, right?
Ooh!
No, don't hang up the phone on me.
Uh... Sure. Yeah.
...normal, doesn't mean you should ruin it.
[BABY GIGGLING]
...to you guys. I thought you were old assholes.
HAROLD: Try singing again.
That's a gigantic joint. What do you think?
Yogurt has an expiration date.
Give it to me!
They're gonna come home from Mass and expect to see...
- Fine. - No! All right!
It's not like I don't have friends.
You're happy...
I don't need to be part of this.
Don't quit weed.
Dad, you good? You need a drink or...? No? Okay.
- We're not taking you anywhere. - Not going through any tunnels.
When you come back, the tree will be decorated.
...then you never hear from them again.
Prepare for the winter of your discontent
Listen, we're friends of Mary, okay?
Straight from
...is here.
Oh, so smart.
Great job. I've just got a few notes, okay?
Why wasn't you at school today?
- Easy. - He can not... He is not allow...
I really need it. I'll pay double.
Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris?
- There you go. - Thank you, kind sir.
It's such a disaster, this fucking night.
HAROLD [IN ENGLISH]: Every time I hang out with you, it's a disaster.
Losing...
...get as many medical supplies as you can.
...to meet me.
KUMAR: Clay cocks! - Put your cock away.
KUMAR: There's a lot you don't know...
Fine. Can you pee on it?
You know what? Fuck it, it's almost midnight. I give up.
Isn't this the most beautiful tree you've ever seen?
I'm freezing! Give us back our clothes.
Since when do you have a beard?
ADRIAN: Oh, shit!
And frankly, I'm kind of glad that the craziness is behind me.
My God. We're gonna die.
- Did you stock the fridge? - I did.
...throw it out? - This tree is a cancer.
Who the fuck are you?
They all look alike to me too. Ha-ha-ha.
You look terrific. You lose weight?
Don't get too comfortable. Keep your game face on for your father-in-law.
- I don't wa... Seriously, 40 bucks? - Yeah.
Here's your phone.
Your little friend better get me a tree.
When I actually try in school but fail multiple tests
Had I known, I would have smoked it.
Hey. Looks like somebody missed me.
And a happy New Year
Okay.
Fuck that! I don't care...
Little girl, I'm not gonna ask you no more.
[ADRIAN MOANS]
FUCK SAVAGE
Ugh.
I'd say so. Shh, shh!
...fuck me tonight! You!
NEIL: Wait, man.
Mr. Claus, can you feel...
...I'd tell him to eat a cockmeat sandwich.
Heh. Nice, Harry.
Well, maybe I should give it to someone else.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
Just because your wife made you convert doesn't mean you're not a Jew!
And then I shot...
...tearing that snowman a new tuchus.
These guys think pancakes are better than waffles.
I don't date black guys.
- He's single. - Hi. Kumar.
No, no, no.