Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

KUMAR: See you, guys. GOLDSTEIN: No, wait.
[SCOFFS]
Where could my baby be? Where's my baby?
Jesus!
...think I'm okay.
I need it!
Let me tell you a story, Harold.
Listen, I'd love to stay and chat...
- All bad things. - Ah.
[BABY FARTS AND GIGGLES]
No, please don't light us up.
- Oh. - Oh.
You seemed tense. I thought we could loosen you up.
Pa rum pum pum pum
[DECK THE HALLS PLAYS AS RINGTONE]
You are perfectly fine creating a mess...
You can't celebrate Christmas with a naked tree! It's indecent!
...a town car, a limo? It's not safe...
That was a really great team effort.
Oh, nobody dies while stop motion animated.
Your children threw the party.
I want you to find...
- NPH? - Yup.
- What? - Never mind. Heh.
After we just had that breakthrough?
I made a mess.
What?
Forget it. It's past 2 a.m.
with you guys.
Pillow fight in the altar boys' room. Last one there's a rotten egg.
I hate pancakes.
No.
TODD: Why the I-I...
Yeah, it does feel good.
Winter Wonder Weed.
Okay, I'll Skype you later or text you.
I want to.
You take it.
[GRUNTS]
Wardrobe!
HAROLD: What? You sold it?
Oh, that's because Maria is...
...love one of these. - Uh-huh.
Okay. Taken.
Santa Claus is comin'
Look at the branch distribution.
...with state-of-the-art 3D technology...
Sure. Come on in.
I'm not, it's just hard.
Whoa. No way!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
BORIS: Hey, grandpa!
- Oh, right. TODD: Screw you!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
...use my pee.
Hey...
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, fuck me. Fuck. I'm...
...one-on-one rehearsing later? GRACIE: Wait.
NEIL: The chicks were hot. The music was sick.
[MAN WHIMPERS AND SCREAMS] Oh, no! The water's going down!
Okay? Ha, ha.
[HAROLD GRUNTS]
Oh, yeah!
BECCA: Go! Move!
Lot of poopies, lot of money.
That's right, I'm gonna get my snozzle.
Kumar, my friend.
You have to be more specific.
Oh, my God!
I don't wanna...
Yuup
Oh. Okay, cool.
[YELLING]
It was really sour.
Oh No doubt waffle bot!!!
Of course. You're doing great. I thought we could work on a thing or two.
- What do you want for Christmas? KUMAR: That's a really good question.
...kind of thing.
- So you killed two trees in one night. KUMAR: Hold on.
No more jerking off into a sock filled with baby powder.
...and sconces than a lifetime of friendship.
But that's not enough to be with my Maria.
...and sees this beautiful tree...
Oh.
Hey, are we gonna do this or what?
Harold! Wake up! Baby.
New Year
Here.
- It's just urine. It'll wash out. - Oh, Harry.
This is...
I used to date this black chick, she used to queef every time we had sex.
MARY: Stop resisting.
Hello, Harold.
Me and my drum
And they'll burn in H.
Kumar and WaffleBot friends forever.
[SNEEZES]
So do you, like, want to see my room?
Fuck topaz
Nobody gets high the first time they smoke weed. Don't you know anything?
- Fucking kill her! - Whoo!
Come on!
Is that Hugo Boss? I love it.
Holy shit! Dude, you're stop motion animated!
I'm sick and tired of your fucking passive-aggressive bullshit.
Tell him I'm not gonna...
you and I will get the tree.
KENNETH: Ah, Mr. Lee? I'm here.
Who are those guys?
- [WHISPERS] I knew you'd bring that up. - You grabbed me.
...killing machine leaves.
I hate that android fuck.
Let's get shots. Keep the party going.
Because you're the best. I don't wanna go with him.
[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
...with your douchey friends and gay-ass sconces.
No, it's not! How am I supposed to get a tree now? I'm made of clay.
What about the stuff?
Welcome to...
johny liver funny clip
- What? I don't see any ice. - You've never heard of black ice?
What's the deal? Why isn't everybody at school trying to sleep with you?
Shotgun.
KUMAR: Whoo!
...what cocaine can do to the mind of a person as young as you?
You remind me a lot of that guy...
...right now.
Oh, yeah? What kind of friend? Best friend?
Harry? Gotta be kidding me.