Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Oh, great. Great. This is just great.
I'm sorry, do you want us to play you in beer pong?
...in your living room, he'll jizz all over it.
[ALL GASP]
Eww
...so familiar?
I went to the park.
This was fun. But I got...
[CHATTERING]
You have anything to smoke out of?
TODD: What are we doing here, Harry?
She's very delicate.
Excuse me, uh, Neil. But I'm Jesus. So...
[MOANS]
TODD: Excuse me?
...a decorated tree, but they are gonna see that.
What are you doing?
Hey, some people like the holidays.
I love you too, little guy.
[GIGGLING]
When there's someone who doesn't stop talking
Can I just speak to him, please?
Hey, guys, stop!
...uh, very merry today.
This is the part where the kid's tongue...
TODD [SINGING]: Three French hens
If we beat you, we kick your asses out and take all your motherfucking cash. Ha, ha.
Now take it off.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Kumar.
[BOTH YELL]
We take it to your place, and when Maria's dad comes home...
...these are incredible waffles.
Oh, my God.
Oh, it's a Weederful Life.
...stop and get some disgusting food for her.
[BIG BOI'S DADDY FAT SAX PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
HAROLD: Would you stop?
I guess I haven't found...
KUMAR: Whoa! - Shit!
Ahh.
- It's better than the photograph. - Ha, ha.
I always knew you were a nice guy.
...or something?
[GRUNTS]
- Ow. - Sorry.
Would you guys be excited to meet him?
Don't listen to these guys. It takes balls to do what you're doing.
Oh, I know it wasn't your fault.
Anybody here?
Stop yelling!
NARRATOR: How about this?
Yeah, I do, actually. My face is feeling kind of numb.
Give me a second.
You're in charge of distracting them.
Dead squirrel.
Hey! Let's take a picture. Everybody!
Okay. Well, then, fuck it, dude.
You can really feel it.
No.
Lie still. You've been in a terrible accident. I'm gonna take a closer look.
- Todd? Yeah, he's a lot of fun. - At least he doesn't...
...a fabulous, amazing dream watching you perform.
It was ridiculous. I used to call her Queen Laqueefa.
- That went bad. - I thought it went good.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
Ha-ha-ha. Not bad, Roldy.
Get it over here. Hurry the fuck up!
Come on in.
...and be responsible doesn't necessarily mean...
Go and get some rest, huh? Make yourself fresh...
A fucking mini-mall in Des Moines?
- Did you get the potpourri balls? - Yes.
I thought those hippies were gonna kill you.
[WHIMPERING]
...you best show me some fucking respect.
GUSTAV: But first...
She said it?
Party's over!
Fa-la-la-Ia-la, la-la
- ...the man... - Look at these firs.
He's getting a handjob in my club.
...and now it is dead.
He almost spotted us! I'm supposed to be at home with the tree.
[WHISPERS] Probably less.
[WHISTLE]
Bye, Harold.
You hungry?
With a brand-new swag
Neil Patrick Harris. I played Private Carl Jenkins...
- You know what? - What's that?
To town
- What's up? Where's Mary? TEEN: I don't know...
That's too bad. Uh, the tree?
- You know what this is about? - What?
You know what, Gustav?
Now, come on and fuck a baby into me.
But, Harold, weed is so good.
No, it's fine. Aah!
- I mean, my dad owns it but... - Ha, ha. You're one of those.
Just gonna come on the stage.
Come on, man, it's Christmas.
- Still hits the spot. HAROLD: I know, right?
...Santa Claus in the fucking face. He's real, and I shot him in the face.
Come on, have a seat.
Oh. Ha, ha. I'm sorry.
ROSENBERG: You are gonna catch your death...
- Oh. MR. PEREZ: Twelve-foot Fraser fir.
Glad your family's here.
These dirty Jew bastards have...
Hey, douche?
Christmas! Easter! Fishing! Hunting! I tie knots on a sailboat.
How do you think they stay so clean?
All my other friends...
I was wondering if...
[RAISES VOLUME]
It's Christmas Eve, okay? What do you expect?
Are you really hot? I'm, like, hot...
Dude, everything's stop motion animated!
If you beat us...
Santa Claus is comin' to town
Just let me have the rock.
You people are real good with those things.
A queefer.
VANESSA: Kumar! It's Vanessa.
Go. Go.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!