Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Jonbenet, I'm talking to you, sweetie.
Do you not know...
Jesus...?
HAROLD: This douche did.
You're welcome, Kumar.
...that a lot of times when I got high...
Wait a second, that's why you quit weed?
...lost their virginity in 7th grade.
Three French hens
No.
Then it's what it looks like.
I'm sorry.
What the fuck that mean?
I said step aside.
Kumar? You kidding me? I haven't seen that guy in years.
...in the world. Let's discuss. - Come on, man!
Wu-Tang Clan ain't
...no idea what they're missing.
[ALL SCREAM]
So I'm just gonna pour a little bit on. Probably gonna sting for a second.
We wish you a merry Christmas
That was a misunderstanding.
And the whole family...
La-la!
We have to get rid of it before it kills Christmas.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
Heh. The last time you hit on a chick, you had to ask for her beeper number.
He's probably putting her to bed or something.
So she can come down from her trip. Fantastic.
MARIA: Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Dude, it's a WaffleBot.
...called the Kama Sutra? JESUS: Come on, Neil.
How do you feel, Mr. Claus?
You can curse in front of me. Baby's not here.
Wait, look at this fir.
I got a virgin to fuck!
Okay, Daddy's gonna get you changed. Daddy is gonna get you...
- I... SANTA: Ha, ha. Don't worry.
Because you weren't brought up...
[GIGGLES]
- Shots. JESUS: Yeah, thanks. Couple of shots.
I can get heartburn without thinking I'm having a stroke.
Neil Patrick Harris. My man.
You owe me a tree, punk.
Who is this toolbox?
Daddy-Daughter Day.
...I kind of burned it down.
Sex Naked
- Oh. - Oh.
So I guess...
- And I reserved it. - You got it?
Prepare for the winter of your discontent
Oh, God.
The motherfucking slums that's busted
Don't pee on me!
What? No.
We wish you a merry Christmas
- It's coming! MAN: Wake up! Wake up!
You two have always been good boys.
I thought weed stunted fertility. That's why I quit.
[RETCHES]
I know this is your first time, so I'm gonna be extra gentle.
Hey...
BARTENDER: What can we get for you? NEIL & BARTENDERS: Whiskey.
- And sing at my niece's quinceañera. - All right, I'll sing.
- Here you go. - Oh, thank you.
I'm just teasing you.
Uh, a little woozy.
You can't back out of Daddy-Daughter Day...
MADEA: The best revenge you can have on somebody that told you that...
[GRUNTS]
...it made me realize how important you are to me.
I don't know if we should.
Kind of like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.
I know I don't have to.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
On, Blitzen! Hyah!
What's up? What are you...?
- All right. - Cheers.
Prepare for the winter of your discontent
That was the only 12-foot Fraser fir left in the fucking state.
Just let me just...
KUMAR: All right.
...Harold, and Happy New Year!
[SNIFFS]
- Isn't that right? ls Grandma a bitch? - No.
Should we do something?
[COUGHS]
I'm begging you!
Dude, relax. It's gonna wear off soon.
Of course you should.
I had Hanukkah Hash, but the kids from Temple Shalom Immanuel cleaned me out.
I'm guessing...
Do they really think we care what poor people think?
I Hate Pancakes.
This is my friend, Todd.
Get the fuck...
[GUN CLICKING]
Holy shit!
[VANESSA CHUCKLING]
What?
Hi...
TODD: Yah!
...got nothing on me.
[MARIA SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Dude, it's the balls.
You'd like this bag of crack.
I've been growing her for eight years.
Can I play angry black guy this time?
- In my dressing room, five minutes. - Yes!
Wanna start? I'll kick your ass...
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah. It's gonna be...
It is a G-D shame.
[GROANING]
- Two years ago. - So...
- Good win. - Thanks, kid.
- Okay, good. Let's go. - Whoo!
Mr. Lee!
Yeah, like anyone's gonna believe that.
Why don't you lay on the bed?
Dude, you're overreacting. There's plenty of tree lots.
I'll even quit weed if I have to.
Nice.
...presents to deliver.
...have a long and probably beautiful history together.
...dude, but if I was you, I would steer clear.
Why does it always have to be Gustav?
What do you think we light the gasoline with?
Just got reserved.
Thank you so much, Mr. Patrick Harris.
It doesn't taste like semen.