Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Please, let me wake up and find a big, beautiful Christmas tree.
Yeah, that's why I...
No, not yet. But he's a huge fan of Christmas. I'm hoping when he sees...
They sold out months ago.
We practiced safe sex.
We'll drive around till we find the right tree.
Oh, my God. WaffleBot.
We got another one.
So hot, NPH.
...rape my friend on Christmas Eve. He's married.
The tree is removable?
...ovulating.
What the hell's going on?
HAROLD: What the fuck?
SANTA: Well, I guess...
What?
Ugh. What did I tell you about using tongue?
You ruined christmas You ruined christmas
I didn't flunk out of med school. I failed a drug test.
- Find the girl, get the tree. Come on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Koreans have killed his mother, and now this tree. Christmas is ruined.
Just a Christmas tree?
Yeah.
If it's a baby I gotta give you, it's a baby you're gonna get.
Fck!
Make sure we can get the tree, you got a deal.
Holy shit. Neil.
Wake up! Wake up!
Do you want to come in for a drink...
What? No.
[GULPS]
[BOTH LAUGH]
Yeah, you have no fucking idea, dude.
A couple squeaks got by...
ADRIAN: Right. Don't talk about it.
As they say in my country:
GUSTAV: Mary would...
It's a miracle!
Dude, everything's Claymated!
It is I, the B-I-G, the B-O-I
...you'd pull out all the stops too.
HAROLD: My name and your address. That's weird.
His name is Seth Goldstein. For Christ's sake!
...two reasonable guys...
- Ava! Ava! - Shh!
NARRATOR [ON TV]: Has this ever happened to you?
You guys are too cute.
Except, see, in our day, it was called Beirut.
This is fucked up.
ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKERS]: And now, ladies and gentlemen...
That's not helpful!
Is it like the scene from A Christmas Story?
Yo! Idiots!
...the big time!
...opportunity to work with you.
You said you were going to...
- Aah! KUMAR: Go!
No. Nobody's dying, Claus. Not on my watch.
Little bit, yeah.
Sorry. I can't help you there.
Jesus, what a cockblock.
[IN ENGLISH] Rosetta Stone.
What did Vanessa do to suck...
Oh, hi there. Somebody's looking...
KUMAR: Oh, shit. - Shit.
- We hit this, we win. BORIS: No matter. There's no way...
Bis, pecs, this one.
- And a DeLorean. - Yes.
Merry Christmas Pancakes are fucking gay
MADEA: What was you doing? You supposed to be at school.
Thank you. I love you guys.
I see what you're doing.
MARY: Oh, my God. Adrian, is that you?
...you could say, yes, a Christmas tree is a big deal.
Fuck it, I'm in.
...of cold out here. Let's get you a nice meal.
I guard while you kill the power.
KUMAR: This is great!
She...
...but is that all it takes? - Yes.
I mean, I'm Jesus Christ.
We got another customer.
That's not good. No.
The second the priest...
...that handsome man.
And we didn't have the rollback rule...
Now we're getting tinkled on.
TODD: Harry.
Uh-uh.
Shit!
GROW THE FUCK UP NOAHDOESYARNS
...because we got precious cargo...
We've been trying for like a... For a year.
Is there a...?
This is like that...
Pussy's not like yogurt. It has an expiration date.
[GRUNTING]
Aah! Okay, I need this room...
Maybe if you acted more like an adult, you'd get invited to adult parties.
Oh, nobody dies while Claymated.
You know, it's kind of better than a window.
Introducing WaffleBot.
Stop, just give me a two-minute break. Aah!
MARIA: Daddy.
Yuri, light them up.
[SOBBING]
[GIGGLES]
I came downstairs this morning...
And he had pubes.
Can we drop this tree off at Sulu's and head to the city?
Uh, either way, it doesn't matter. Hey, ladies.
So how do we do this?
Whoa, why is Vanessa calling you?
I haven '1' heard back. What's going on?
What about my car?
Oh, my God. I'm so excited.
You better not pout I'm tellin' you why
You're freaking me out.
No. Hey, no.
- Is this a joke? KUMAR: Hold the fuck on.
...35 seconds.
They gave my daughter ecstasy.
Santa, can you hear me?
Or both.