Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- Who's next? - Santa!
( FLUSHING IN DISTANCE )
TODD: Okay, great.
- How you gonna be a gangsta? - I'm not one.
It's like the worst ice there is. Black ice, it's everywhere.
And I'll see what I can do about your parents' ugly divorce, Caren.
KUMAR: That's easy, you'll just use our secret weapon.
HAROLD: I don't care, okay?
Shut up!
- You need anything, just give me... - Merry Christmas.
[MAN YELLS THEN GRUNTS]
No, no, no! No, no, no!
Like we some Wayne Brady-ass niggers, right?
Oh, God!
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with
Bay window is brand-new, actually. We just put that in last week.
Might have S'ed the bed on that.
Yo, slow down, man.
Diaper emergency! Aah! Cocaine!
I know.
I want to.
[WHIMPERING]
- ...are ready. - WaffleBot?
Like three months ago.
She won't make it to your party. Too bad.
That was a perfectly salvageable tree.
...my family was too poor to celebrate Christmas properly.
Hollywood Hearsay. Is it true that you're replacing Regis?
There's only one Karate Kid and it stars Jackie Chan and my man Jaden Smith.
Uh, I'm not gonna let you...
It's not fine! My baby's on cocaine.
What are you doing?
Bye, Kumar.
Well, Harry. Harry.
Listen, if you want you can come.
...I gave you your present.
KUMAR: Ah, there.
I'm in for a really stressful weekend. I just needed some comfort food.
- You behave yourself, peaches. Ha-ha-ha. DAVID: Always.
It's glorious. Isn't it Christian?
Yes.
TODD: Now we have to...
I actually have not shaved since you left. Pretty romantic.
WAFFLEBOT: Kumar.
Why can't he say both of us?
Give your dick.
They're home, wondering where I am, where the tree is.
Pepe! Where are the ornaments?
You guys...
You still owe me 87 cents for that jalapeño cheeseburger!
It's gonna be amazing!
No. It's already very late.
Shut the fuck up, Todd!
...this is goodbye, Roldy. Be a good boy...
That was so good. Ha, ha.
...with some wimpy pussy.
...what my sister said. I'm not letting you take our tree.
KUMAR: Just hold on a second, all right?
[CREATURE LAUGHS]
Miraculously, my mother is no longer a total bitch.
Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that was an epic match.
It's not not awesome!
What the fuck?
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, anything.
...I was heartbroken.
Good girl! Let's go home! Let's go see Santa.
Give me the stuff.
...never seen VH1's Behind the Music?
HAROLD: God, that tree is perfect.
Oh, no. Ha. Married.
God.
GOD: This is God. - Daddy?
We saw you get shot.
Give me a half hour...
Feels good.
Your waffles...
Carlos, it will. Tell me exactly what you want and I'll take care of it.
Woo-hoo.
I was drugged by...
- Can I take this bra off'? - Um...
Then he
Oh, God.
KUMAR: I'm busy, Adrian! Go away!
...that has ever happened to me.
The tree. Right. So I called them.
KUMAR: Mm.
How the hell do I do that?
What are you talking about?
You got my baby high!
[OBJECT THUMPS]
[BABY CRYING]
Take me to the party, I get you that tree.
and WaffleBot does the rest
Holy shit!
You son of a bitch
Come on, girls. I'll introduce you.
28 DE NOVIEMBRE SOLO EN CINES
[GIGGLING]
You made the drive in record time. Didn't speed, did you?
I hate...
She promised us we could have that tree. Okay? Thank you.
Just shoot this motherfucker, people come.
He sees you when you're sleeping
Tinkle on the windshield is the grossest thing...
Have you kids...
I want him to be happy because I want Maria to be happy.
Wu-Tang to get back together.
- That's a Mr. Pibb, Sprite, Diet Coke suicide? MAN: Correct.
What?
Don't play me like that.
I gotta stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.
Forget it. Heh.
- ...Kumar. - Ha, ha.
Yeah, how the fuck?
Oh, my ass.
No, dude, come on. You got this. Feel it.
Whoa. Looks like your ex-boyf's moving up in the world. Heh.
Calm down. It's just a Christmas tree.
I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters.
- So you two own this tree lot? LAMAR: What?
Sold.
Uh, actually, you are, you fuckstain.
Okay, I will.