Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

Okay, I will.
...never seen VH1's Behind the Music?
Shut up!
What are you talking about?
Uh, actually, you are, you fuckstain.
Feels good.
KUMAR: Just hold on a second, all right?
Give your dick.
- You behave yourself, peaches. Ha-ha-ha. DAVID: Always.
No. It's already very late.
Forget it. Heh.
[OBJECT THUMPS]
KUMAR: Ah, there.
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin' to fuck with
- That's a Mr. Pibb, Sprite, Diet Coke suicide? MAN: Correct.
Then he
Miraculously, my mother is no longer a total bitch.
Calm down. It's just a Christmas tree.
Oh, my ass.
Well, Harry. Harry.
Good girl! Let's go home! Let's go see Santa.
KUMAR: I'm busy, Adrian! Go away!
Carlos, it will. Tell me exactly what you want and I'll take care of it.
I know.
Give me the stuff.
KUMAR: That's easy, you'll just use our secret weapon.
Yes.
I want him to be happy because I want Maria to be happy.
God.
- You need anything, just give me... - Merry Christmas.
Tinkle on the windshield is the grossest thing...
They're home, wondering where I am, where the tree is.
Oh, no. Ha. Married.
Bay window is brand-new, actually. We just put that in last week.
Whoa. Looks like your ex-boyf's moving up in the world. Heh.
WAFFLEBOT: Kumar.
It's like the worst ice there is. Black ice, it's everywhere.
Might have S'ed the bed on that.
TODD: Okay, great.
I gotta stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.
Pepe! Where are the ornaments?
Come on, girls. I'll introduce you.
...that has ever happened to me.
I hate...
Hollywood Hearsay. Is it true that you're replacing Regis?
and WaffleBot does the rest
Have you kids...
Yeah, how the fuck?
GOD: This is God. - Daddy?
I actually have not shaved since you left. Pretty romantic.
...what my sister said. I'm not letting you take our tree.
[WHIMPERING]
Yo, slow down, man.
...I was heartbroken.
I'm in for a really stressful weekend. I just needed some comfort food.
HAROLD: God, that tree is perfect.
Like we some Wayne Brady-ass niggers, right?
...this is goodbye, Roldy. Be a good boy...
Just shoot this motherfucker, people come.
- How you gonna be a gangsta? - I'm not one.
...with some wimpy pussy.
[CREATURE LAUGHS]
What the fuck?
Diaper emergency! Aah! Cocaine!
I was drugged by...
[LAUGHS]
It's glorious. Isn't it Christian?
It's not fine! My baby's on cocaine.
KUMAR: Mm.
( FLUSHING IN DISTANCE )
You made the drive in record time. Didn't speed, did you?
We saw you get shot.
Oh, God!
- So you two own this tree lot? LAMAR: What?
She promised us we could have that tree. Okay? Thank you.
...I gave you your present.
That was a perfectly salvageable tree.
How the hell do I do that?
I want to.
- ...Kumar. - Ha, ha.
That was so good. Ha, ha.
Don't play me like that.
Hey, guys. I just wanted to say that was an epic match.
The tree. Right. So I called them.
...my family was too poor to celebrate Christmas properly.
Uh, I'm not gonna let you...
Your waffles...
Woo-hoo.
Holy shit!
- ...are ready. - WaffleBot?
I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters.
28 DE NOVIEMBRE SOLO EN CINES
It's gonna be amazing!
TODD: Now we have to...
Like three months ago.
No, no, no! No, no, no!
[BABY CRYING]
It's not not awesome!
Oh, God.
[GIGGLING]
Yeah, anything.
Bye, Kumar.
Shut the fuck up, Todd!
You son of a bitch
No, dude, come on. You got this. Feel it.
Wu-Tang to get back together.
HAROLD: I don't care, okay?
What are you doing?
[MAN YELLS THEN GRUNTS]
She won't make it to your party. Too bad.
You still owe me 87 cents for that jalapeño cheeseburger!
- Who's next? - Santa!
There's only one Karate Kid and it stars Jackie Chan and my man Jaden Smith.
Take me to the party, I get you that tree.
Why can't he say both of us?
Give me a half hour...
You got my baby high!
What?
He sees you when you're sleeping
Sold.
And I'll see what I can do about your parents' ugly divorce, Caren.
You guys...
- Can I take this bra off'? - Um...
Listen, if you want you can come.