Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I got nothing against weed, okay?
Hey, speaking of guests...
JESUS: So, girls...
HAROLD: Fuck! Midnight Mass. Is it midnight already? Fucking midnight!
Aw, dude, turn in there!
This doesn't concern you!
He's just playing. How you doing? I'm Latrell.
Letting him have the master bedroom?
Okay, look, this is scalding hot coffee.
Those white boys over there.
...neighbor. - Hey, man.
...take the tree that we had specifically called and reserved?
Oh, by the way, if anybody asks, I'm Robert Pattinson's acting coach.
...you're a dream, and I'm having a big wet dream about you.
Wait, I almost got it.
KUMAR: Once the coast is clear, we use the key to get into the back room.
These men came in here, I didn't know who they were.
Happens.
[GRUNTS]
Now, before this party...
Dude, come on!
I'm sorry about him, dude. I...
I wish I would've realized that sooner.
...family tradition.
NARRATOR: Just pop the top, let that batter drop
GUSTAV: Grab it.
I don't even see any stamps on this.
BOTH: Shit.
I am so going to tweet about that. Heh-heh-heh.
[YELLING]
Daddy.
[LAUGHS]
- The one with the huge clit? - No, not Clitzilla.
Buddy.
[CHUCKLES]
I don’t want to sound like a Wimpy pussy
Dude, you baby-whispered her.
- Yeah. - Yes! You should have led off with that.
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, Harry, stop!
Yuri, warm them up.
ADRIAN: New plan. Let's bash through the door.
Don we now our gay apparel
I got a buddy picking me up.
I take full responsibility. Please leave.
...Katsov.
...your profile pic.
HAROLD: Hey. Calm down. Calm down.
...is that? - The Wu-Tang Clan.
Ugh. Ugh.
Look, don't be alarmed...
[GUSTAV SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
But unfortunately...
Sex Naked
ADRIAN: Dude, look.
- I gotta wear those tomorrow. - I know.
And if you want to be in our family...
Can I get you a beer?
When my mother finally moved me to America...
- That was you? SANTA: Yeah.
[SCREAMING]
Oh, God, I ruined your dick!
The only reason I put up with this homo crap is for the p-tang.
HAROLD: What the hell is this?
I'm sorry. I was gonna use the doorbell but I didn't want to wake your parents.
MARIA: I've missed you!
OPERATOR: Your call cannot be completed as dialed.
- Ooh. How much is that? LATRELL: That tree'? Sorry.
What is that?
Let me pull my pants up.
- Ooh. Bong. - Oh!
You can't give up yet.
Okay, don't start with this. All right?
Ooh. We'll take it.
Don't call him that, dude. What's up, WaffleBot?
Well, maybe this'll answer your question.
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
Happens to the best of us. You up for...
All right.
...I'd be embarrassed. These trees are ghetto.
Real Christmas?
I'm really, really, really sorry!
...was a young boy in Medellin- - Vanessa's pregnant.
- I don't know why, but I love you. - Thank you.
[CHATTERING]
[SIGHS]
We have Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
[SNIFFS]
If this guy makes one more lame pun, I'm gonna kill myself.
Thank you.
...doing that. - Smush that pussy! Unh!
...are you sure you don't wanna invite Kumar?
NPH, ha, ha. You are absolutely bringing the heat, and you are bringing it hard.
That's all. No wonder you flunked out of med school
Wait...
I do it too.
- But... - Step aside, please.
...to sober up.
Maybe he's been a chode, caring more about bay windows...
[GRUNTS THEN GROANING]
Vanessa's pregnan...
Shut the fuck up!
Done.
I'll get the rope.
Right in the sugar plums.
Feels good.
- We saved Christmas, man. KUMAR: Mission accomplished.
[ON RADIO] Christmas, Christmas
Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
- You can't fuck her! - I can't promise.
- What? - What?
HAROLD: Cheers. - Cheers.
Who's that?
You have outdone yourself.
Can we put on some Wu-Tang?
MOM: Oh, my God! Billy!
I'm loving me some Applebee's. I made terrible investments...
- Listen, man, I... - Man, this...
...what can I do for you, my burglars of turd?
He)', guys.
...with his stupid girlfriend.
Hey! Enough talk.
- Sorry. TODD: If Emma finds out...
HAROLD: It's perfect.
- You know I love you, right? - I think you do.
MARY: Uh! You fucking...
...how we're gonna deal with the Christmas party with all these extra guests.