Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

- I'm sorry. - Fuck!
...all the work, he appreciates it.
And, Mr. Lee, I think you're gonna be really pleased.
I mean, I pulled out and came on your back.
MR. PEREZ: It's okay, baby.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Smiled at me
SANTA: Just let me die, please!
- Rosenberg. - Goldstein?
WaffleBot, look at me.
Hey, hey, look at that. NPH, Neil Patrick Harris.
We'll make it work. We have plenty of room.
HAROLD: Maybe if we catch up to them, they'll sell the tree to us.
Uh, not exactly.
NEIL: So, ladies, have you ever heard of something...
You got a package that came for you at the apartment. So I was dropping it off.
...kill them. Kill them all!
Um...
Is that too much?
This is not about you being high. This is about you being immature.
Giant Penis.
Fucking actors.
You showed me you got cojones.
Aah! And it really, really hurts.
After all we've been through with that guy, he better.
Thanks. Couldn't do it without the little people.
Yeah, maybe one of you fucks up every now and again.
When was the last time you saw this guy?
- With ethnic items that he might need? - I did.
Sorry doesn't pop my cherry.
All right, that is it. Hey, snowman!
HAROLD: Come on.
I'm sure they're fine, right?
Fuck you!
Please, please, please. There is a very serious gas crisis...
What else have you been doing behind my back?
It was my little way of bringing you boys back together.
America's sweetheart!
- Wake up. - Oh.
Because what makes Maria happy is what makes me happy.
TODD: Freeze! This is a robbery. Give me all your friendship.
HAROLD: If you knew Maria's dad...
KUMAR: Sounds like you're enjoying your new religion.
Look. We are...
By the way, for what it's worth...
Waffles are awesome. Pancakes suck, right?
We brought the tree all the way down.
It's the coffee at the shelter.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
Hmm?
KUMAR: What is this? Kwanzaa Cookout.
Ava! Scooch to Daddy! Hide behind Daddy!
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
I think that they got me drunk.
And every Christmas...
Wu-Tang Clan, Todd.
SQUIRREL: Mmm.
Your coke baby has superpowers.
Wait, wait, wait! What the hell are we doing?
Mm, mm. Ha-ha-ha. Hey. How about that?
I got the munchies.
We can find people.
That's Sergei...
Where'd you learn to dance, honey?
It's Harold, actually.
Can you untie us?
- What? Oh, shit! - No! No!
You hurt my brother!
NIKKI: I'm not smart like the other kids. I can't do that stuff.
I don’t want to sound like a Wimpy pussy
[FINGERS CRACK]
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Oh. Jinx.
Kenneth, it's Christmas.
...in hell...
Oh, my God.
...couldn't handle this. - I'm sorry.
You're pregnant?
Okay.
...you're MIA.
I thought that would knock you out, obviously.
Aw, come on.
Oh, this is not good!
The more I think about it, the more excited I am.
Somebody is gonna...
Look, Santa, we're so sorry.
No. Gained. Quite a bit, actually. This is a really nice house.
You always do that. You keep doing it. It's crazy.
- How you doing? - Good to see you too. Good.
I was gonna split the profits with you...
- Great. Okay, great. Bye. We're good. - Please hang up...
Sir, if I may. This is all a big...
Come on, please? Come on!
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
But real talk...
Why does he look...
Watch your step, it's icy there.
While everyone's trying to turn the power on...
REPORTER: Neil, Neil, Neil, Dan Frye.
No, no, no!
Yeah, definitely, man. I think there was something in the eggnog.
Why are you calling Harold?
I don't know, I kind of wanna see what happens next.
I've been texting you.
What?
Because I wanted you...
No, no, no. No, you skedaddle.
It smells like shit in here.
They say that singing is...
Oh, great.
padhai me man nahi lagta Kya kare
NARRATOR: Get the Christmas
Running out of time.
Shit!
You ruined my Christmas, man!
Oh, shit.
Ah! Guess that holy water didn't wash everything off, now did it?
[YELLS]
I didn't see her.
I know. That's strange.
- What? - I just felt...
Sure, no problem.
It's, um...
We can have the tree?
[THUDS]
- We have a van... - I got it.
- No. - Okay, good.
...et cetera?
Big house, lot of bathrooms.
When you told me you were pregnant, I admit I was scared as shit.
- Oh, my God. GUY: Oh, I'm coming!
The morphine. It'll wear off.
- Snoopy Sno-cone Machine. - Done.
Then why the hell would you buy a faux tree?
- Oh, shit! HAROLD: What the fuck, Kumar?
[HAROLD GRUNTS THEN CHUCKLES]
She told me earlier today. My reaction was not awesome.
- It's opposite. - Watch out!
Those guys weren't kidding. We're in the middle of nowhere.
Don't fucking spit on my dick!